Now: Co-founder @hellopatient | Previously: Led consumer and growth product @carbonhealth | Hobbies include getting fired constantly | Mostly satire

Joined April 2012
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Excited to share that we've raised a $22.5m Series A for Hello Patient, led by Scale Venture Partners. This is by far the worst announcement video I've ever made. I can't believe our lead investor agreed to this
Our lead investor and I have a big announcement to share. Thursday, 9AM PT.
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I’ve now tried like 7 meal prep services and I can confidently say that Cook Unity is by far the best, both in regards to taste and macros. I eat 1-2 of these a day and have almost stopped cooking entirely
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Truly amazing how much our country has accomplished in just a short 250 years. America is still the land of opportunity. Still a place where people are free to dream big, build, and pursue a better life. Feeling grateful to live in the greatest country in the world 🇺🇸
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It’s pretty epic that Austin built so much new housing in the last few years and rents dropped so much the city didn’t even make this list. Incredible place to live and build
San Francisco rent growth is on another planet compared to the rest of the country Two bedroom apartment rents hit $5700 a month, up 22.6% in a year
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None of y’all are allowed to make fun of the Texas grid ever again
New York: it's hot out there, and the power grid is working overtime to keep us cool. Set your AC to 78 degrees, turn off lights/electronics you're not using, and unplug what you can. Our City is doing its part too: maintaining the 78 degrees rule in our buildings, dimming/turning off our lights during peak electricity demand, asking private partners to do the same, and powering down non-essential equipment. A stable grid means the AC stays on, and lives are saved. Let's ease demand — and get through the heat — together.
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Whoever designed the highway system that leads to JFK airport deserves prison for life
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I apologize to everyone in NYC for bringing the Austin heat with me this week. I’m ready for it but I think some of you might die
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No honey I’m not addicted I’m just tickmaxxing
The average tick would die of nicotine poisoning if you smoked one cigarette before it bit you. Make sure to take a drag every few minutes on a hike. It’s for your health. You likely only have 6 months of this being effective before nicotine resistant ticks are accidentally released from the national laboratory for preventing ticks from developing nicotine resistance
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Buying and installing a mini-split AC in my garage this weekend to show my solidarity with the French
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No one: Your remote friend at 2pm on a random Tuesday:
2 outs in the 9th. Schwarber had a great at bat with walk. Lets tie it up.
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Likely one of the next unicorn startups IMHO
Today, we’re announcing Runlayer has raised $30M from Felicis and Khosla Ventures to help companies go all in on AI. Runlayer is the golden path for AI: enablement, security, and control in one platform. So, how does it give your team the right tools for AI? 🧵 x.com/runlayer/status/206978…
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I’m assembling an elite team of former JP Morgan execs
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This is probably the most exercise she’s done in years, and I, for one, think we should commend her for taking the first step
Knicks fan in NYC dumped trash from a public garbage can painted in team colors onto the sidewalk… then stole the can. You can’t have nice things around these people.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but please don’t inject into your flexed bicep
Trump admin seeks to roll back testosterone restrictions - why docs are conflicted trib.al/eze2vcV
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I think so many people underestimate how hard the most obvious problems to solve in AI actually are
The Certifiably Insane Way to Build an AI Agent: 1. choose a category where mistake tolerance is roughly the same as it is in self-driving cars. we chose "email-based scheduling assistant." many people want this product, but they immediately fire him if he screws up an interaction with a prospect, a candidate, or a potential investor 2. you learn that the edge cases are too complex and too frequent to be solvable. ours: managing timezones for people who travel (and change travel plans) constantly. knowing when NOT to respond, when to text the customer on the side to verify something, when to follow up, which sub-calendar to use, when to bend the rules on availability, when we can schedule that one type of call during your commute but not the other type of call. sharing your availabilities without compromising your privacy. and on and on. 3. the product doesn't feel viable, but you don't want to give up. you spend hours in a hot tub in Marin with a friend who makes self-driving cars. you make a plan to do it the way they did: hold the steering wheel. you go home and build a human-in-the-loop platform and hire contractors to serve as a backstop and catch mistakes before they happen (and to help design a map of what a world-class EA would do in every weird scenario). you decide trust is the currency in your category, so it must be the thing you won't compromise on. the product must succeed at any scheduling request, no matter how complicated. 4. you instantly feel an overwhelming market pull. so you keep going, growing that team to 75 people working 24/7 to support the nonstop scheduling needs of your customers. tons of engineering time goes to scaling the human platform instead of building the product. 5. you try to raise a Series A and investors say you are insane. your gross margins are extremely negative. they believe this is a problem worth solving, but they don't believe it is as hard to solve as you say. they want AI, not humans. your competitors put "NO HUMANS IN THE LOOP" on their landing pages to call you out. you keep going. 6. you work day and night building the harness that can meet the quality standard your customers have come to expect. you create a massive synthetic gold dataset. audit it, and clean it, label it. repeat. then, experiments. fine-tuning. RL. ACE. DSPy. sub-agents. sub agents for your sub-agents. rebuild the harness. throw more tokens at the problem. 7. some weeks you make big progress. some weeks your evals climb a single basis point, but that's better than nothing. more experiments. more tokens. john coogan said the hot trend in 2026 will be dogged pursuits. that pushes you to continue the pursuit, doggedly. 8. then, one day, you realize you are scheduling thousands of meetings a day and approaching 50% autopilot with no increase in churn or complaints. you put 150 customers in a full self-driving experiment, and they use the product MORE than they were using it when they had the human backstop. you can really start to let go of the steering wheel. 9. you don't know yet if this was a hill worth climbing, but you are nonetheless stoked that you can see the top. you have created a proprietary map of what to do in a million different situations. nobody else has that map, and the models keep getting better at following maps. your plan was to bet on trust, and your product can be trusted. today was the first day Howie crossed 50% autopilot:
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“You gotta trust me, this $40b will be different. We’ll make sure to appropriate funds properly this time, I promise”
If Elon Musk paid my ultra-millionaire wealth tax, we could pay for child care for all three and four year olds in America.
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You’re telling me there’s not a single person at Snap brave enough to tell Evan Spiegel that these glasses look atrocious? Looks like 3D glasses at an IMAX theater
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@grok make them cooler, like space goggles
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Absolute psychotic way of loading the dishwasher by my cleaning people
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We have a beautiful relationship
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