Dad, Husband, Germanist @BrownUniversity

Joined March 2010
3,400 Photos and videos
England vs. Haaland. two lands enter. one land leaves.
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one thing you just never could have expected was fifa, creator of the fifa peace prize, and donald trump, the only recipient of the fifa peace prize, engaging in transparent corruption
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i gladly accept payment in legos
My language tutor and tank top consultant, @jonathanbfine, is giving me 25 sessions for this. Freak.
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i’m not worried that my kid reads all my tweets. what worries me is that my kid reads all the replies.
Ngl my dad being on twitter would be craaaaazy
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16: Have you tweeted about me recently? Me: No 16: Have you had a large number of likes lately? Me: No 16: There’s a correlation.
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the world cup has infected my local soccer team’s game with hydration breaks now fml
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7: Did you want a boy and a girl, a boy and a boy, or a girl and a girl? Me: I just wanted happy, healthy kids. 7: That’s not what I asked.
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I’m at a soccer game in person while I watch World Cup football on my phone. It’s really the dream.
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I have no problem with bad interpretations, but I have a 3 strikes rule for factual errors in secondary sources. The 1st time I see an error, I excuse it because we all make mistakes. The 2nd time I start to pay closer attention. After the 3rd time, I start to doubt everything.
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my daughter bought me a present to make me feel better. the present is tinned fish.
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Sexually I'm a Hegelian.
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i lived bitch
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our new dog was so stressed about getting a bath that she jumped out of the bathtub and shattered the glass, so i’m picking shards of glass out of my body hair while i wait to be seen
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i’m at urgent care
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heterosexuality is back
What a special week for real lovers.
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this direct flight from providence to cabo verde just started a few weeks ago. it’s almost like they knew all along
If you’re moved by Cabo Verde’s world cup run, pay a visit to the country! There’s a direct flight from Rhode Island to Cabo Verde (~7 hours) - a boost to the tourism industry would be a fitting tribute
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While many of you are likely yelling "AMERICA FUCK YEAH" or "USA! USA!" I'm yelling "GO BARUCH SPINOZA and the European Enlightenment!" #America250
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knowing what is going to happen from my phone before i see it helps with my anxiety
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For me, this was the summer of 2006, and more importantly it’s when I got the woman I would marry to start falling in love with the beautiful game. She wouldn’t describe it that way exactly, but don’t listen to her.
The unemployed friend who's treating the World Cup like a full-time job.
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when you think about it, my 20,000 tweets are kind of like peer reviewed publications
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