Massie lost. Pedophilia won. Kentucky, you must be very proud.

500,000 people showed up, per Trump. 500 people showed up, per reality.

What American would want a passport with the picture of the guy who stole from them? That's like getting a driver's license with a picture of drunk driver who totaled your car. F no.

Let me get this straight. These guys are fake. But a POTUS getting shot in the ear, bouncing up, fixing his hair, striking a pose, yelling a slogan while secret service ducked not to get in the photo, appearing the next day with a shiny new ear, and never investigating it, or talking about it again, even though you're the most vengeful witch on the planet - that must be real.

To everyone who couldn't enjoy America's birthday because Trump destroyed it, we'll get to celebrate again. We're 250 years old. This ain't our first rodeo. And Trump is not the first Nazi or King that we faced. We beat them before and we'll do it again. Happy Birthday, America!

Because MAGA will not fact-check him. That's like fact-checking Jesus. Plus they're not going to use Alexa, they can barely use indoor plumbing.

Hillary Clinton was the Secretary of State. Ms. Lampshade was the Secretary of Epstein.

Donald Trump claims there were 422,000 people in the crowd. Although he lost count after 2.

Unless it's Trump's personal army and the epitome of MAGA: ICE.

🎶 The record shows, I took no blows. And faked it my way!

I will never understand how America could elect a Nazi after WWII. It's inconceivable!!

ICE wears masks. And you guys worship them.

No, Trump did not do this. While the pilots flew the planes Trump was passed out drooling hate, or sobbing and rage-posting, or battling his diapers and losing.

He fights crime but pardons criminals. He fights fraud but swindled us for $2.2 billion. He hawks bibles but never read one. He sells cologne but never wears one. He starts wars but is too chicken to serve. He's a master dealmaker but is always outdealt. He seized an arts center but the artists hate him. He wants a Peace Prize but hates peace. He's a master persuader but only persuades morons. He's a bully but cries when bullied. He has no balls but is building a ballroom. He knows everything but only about squirrels.

The next meeting of the Geongineering TDS Group will meet Tuesday at the YMCA on 3rd. As usual, bring snacks, a Trump dartboard, and the Quantum Climate Modification Supercomputer with the Lightning Energy Emitter and that wind blaster that messes up Trump's hair. We love that.

Yes! America is so badass under Trump. Before Trump, America didn't have any helicopters. Pilots had to use hot-air balloons.

Donald Trump finally got his parade.

Imagine being MAGA and having to pretend that this amazing pilot somehow makes your chickenshit president cool.

God to Trump: "Stop f*cking with everything. This is your final warning. If I see your face on my mountain, I'm gonna lose it."